Tag Archives: trust

You gotta trust…

trust 2Trust – an over-used term, I know. 

That’s why the kind of trust I write about is not the one gurus and career coaches the world over suggest we build with our clients, colleagues and bosses. 

Instead, the kind of trust that’s under the glass here is self-trust.  Simply put, it is what you need to feel towards yourself to thrive in the world of work.  It’s that feeling when you make a decision, that it’s done and over with – no to-ing and fro-ing.  It’s done, finito.

Reaching that point is not easy – and for most doesn’t happen over night.  Admitedly, getting to the point where you make a decision and you don’t look back, is a challenge for most.  Yet the buck does not stop there.  That point is not an end in itself.  It is the process of reaching it that matters the most.


Because building self-trust is a process that requires self-awareness, simplification and cleansing – to name a few.  To begin with, it’s a matter of losing each and every layer that you have thrust upon yourself – in order to fend against the world.  Because there, beneath all your inhibitions, prejuidices, fears – lies your pure essence. You – unadulterated.  You – organic, grown locally and hand-picked. 

And that what you’re really made of – sans additives – is where your true wisdom lies. 

This is no airy-fairy statement.  My friend, it is how nature works.  The closer you come to your true essence, the more access you will have to your inner wisdom. Let me remind you that that wisdom has taken at the very least 3.2 million years to evolve.  It has been passed down to you, generation after generation since Lucy’s time – or maybe earlier.

And to think that this is effortless wisdom – you got the gift simply because you’re human.  Your dog didn’t get it – and forget about your pet fish.  Neither of them got the gift.  You lucky person – you!

You can relax because you don’t need to stand in line to claim your gift. Rather it’s a matter of taking a few deliberate measures and actions in your daily life. Here are the main ones:

  1. Take risks – and as important, learn from the outcomes.  Good or bad, everything leaves behind lessons for you to grow and learn.  It’s those lessons that you put under your belt that will increase your SELFtrust.
  2. Tune in to your feelings – situations either feel right or they feel wrong to your body.  Just as a kiss feels nice to your lips and hot water burns your skin, certain experiences feel right to your body – and others feels wrong.  Some things make you feel excited, others make you feel like you have a rock in your shoe.   Those feelings give you clues about your true essence.  And once you learn to feel your true essence, you have the opportunity (and choice) to honor it.  And that is one of the most powerful ways to build SELFtrust. 
  3. Pick the pattern – if you pay close attention, you follow a unique modus operandi.  Simply put, only you have your way of doing things.  And your way follows a certain pattern – or lets call it a theme.  Knowing what that is, gives you the choice to keep what’s working and to change what’s not.  Having that choice builds SELFtrust.  That said, do you know how and why you do things?  In other words, do you know what drives your choices and what stops you from taking action?  Start by asking yourself: What excites you? What are you drawn to? What scares you?  Can you pick the common denominator(s) in your choices?
  4. Decide – yes, it’s crunch time.  The most sustainable decisions, I’ve found, are the ones that I’ve made with both my head and my heart.   Even so, you need to take a stance – and to trust that decisions are neither right or wrong. They simply yield desirable or undesirable outcomes.

At the end of the day, whether you win or lose, come out on top or below, every outcome is part of your experience.  It makes part of your life’s story.    Besides, the race is long – and it’s only against yourself.

Now go on – and trust yourself.


Not sure what to think of the picture? Me neither – but thank you.

A bad word?

SellingSales – some believe is an undesirable profession, something to be ashamed of.  After working in business development for over a decade, I beg to differ. 

Unless you’re into making a quick sale – the kind where you take someone’s money and run – selling, whether it be products or services, is an honorable career path.

Here’s why:

  1. It is possible to be 100% transparent about your offering and still make a sale.  Unless you define being transparent and honest as self-bashing.  Do you?
  2. A quick sale is nice – a repeat order and a referral are both blissful.  To achieve the latter two you must earn your clients’ trust.  Gaining trust sometimes means forgoing an immediate gain for the sake of a long term, sustainable result.
  3. Passion is unfakeable.  Your clients will believe in your offering only as much as you do.  So don’t aim to fake it until you make it. Simply go out and make it.  Sell only those products and services that you believe in – that are in line with your values.

Now go out and sell, sell, sell…

Impermanent is a good thing

“Don’t get too attached…” said a sales manager to me once in reference to a sales rep she thought would not be around for much longer.

Her words continue to echo in my mind since that day eight years ago.  As a strategic job-hopper I tend to not stick around for long at jobs (my all time highest tenure at a job is 18 months, my average is 14 months). Most certainly impermanence is the law of my land.  Even so, contrary to what most think, not getting attached does not make me cold-hearted.  Learning to let go will not make you ice-cold either.  Knowing that things do not last for ever will drive you to make the most of your current situation, to stop taking things for granted.  And that’s a good thing.

Riding the wave of change will make you better able to:

  1. Keep the lessons from each day.  While situations – good and bad – do not last forever, the lessons that they leave in their wake are yours to keep for life – and to pass on as your legacy.  Learn to take stock at the end of each day (I call this a ‘wrap-up & psych-up’ session). Acknowledge to yourself your accomplishments and the lessons you learned.  Like a snow flake, each day is unique. It has something unique to teach us.  It’s the sum of lessons and experiences that make us who we are.  Welcoming those lessons into your life makes you more open to change and more resilient.
  2. Seize the day.  That’s far from being reckless – and destructive. On the contrary. It means being thankful for the day that you have been given to get closer to your goals.  Sure there are days when we feel like letting our hair down. And that’s okay. As long as the spirit of your actions is constructive – like to unwind and de-stress, not to hurt others or yourself – it’s okay to have fun.
  3. Live with a sense of urgency.  This is far from rushing around.  It stands for being focused and deliberate.  It’s also about identifying interruptions and learning to manage them out of your life.  
  4. Act now.  In case you need reminding, nothing lasts forever.  That includes my life and yours.  It’s okay to put off certain things in order to make time for the more important and urgent.  It’s not okay to live in ‘some day’ mode.  If you don’t give importance to what matters most to you, to what fulfils you, no one else will.  Switch from ‘some day’ to ‘if not now then when’ mode. Do it NOW.
  5. Be more tolerant in the face of challenging situations.  It’s one thing to endure the sting of a syringe in your arm when you know that it will not be forever, quite another when you know that the pain will last a lifetime.  Enduring challenges is just like learning to enjoy holding your breath under water.  Try it next time you go for a swim.  See how much further you can go before you come up for air.  Have fun with it.

Really knowing that things are impermanent will lead you to surrender in the face of change.  Once you do, you’ll find that you’ll be more trusting of the process. 

What are you holding onto with your dear life?  Let go…


Love the photo as much as I do?  Thanks Denis Darzacq