Courtesy of McKinsey Quarterly
Invest today’s lunch time to demystify success. Watch and learn from what a select group of female leaders have to say about success in life and at work.
My favorite piece of advice comes from Shelly Lazarus: “You cannot be afraid to be who you are…live your values. Don’t sneak..stand up, do what you need to do and smile…”
T
hought for today – being produced by a well oxygenated brain and a body high on endorphins after a 45-minute spinning session:
Believe in yourself. And each time that you’re tempted to either look at what others are doing or imitate them – STOP. Ask yourself: “Did that person achieve what they did by imitating others? Or did they become a leader in their field by believing in themselves?”
While it is okay to learn from others and have role models – it is not okay to discredit your view of the world around you.
Believe in yourself. Really, really believe in yourself.
Although I’ve been writing since I was seven – I was the kid who was writing while most others were drawing – fifty-two weeks ago I took my passion for writing to the next level by embarking on a book project.
During the eight-thousand seven-hundred and sixty-six hours that have gone by since that day, aside from completing a manuscript, I learned many lessons which stand to benefit aspiring authors and anyone else who has been dreaming about taking on a major project in their life.
Sharing those lessons with you is my own private celebration. Welcome!
The right time is when you decide the time is right. There never really is a right time to start a major project. Particularly one in which a. the end is not clearly in sight and b. the return on investment is uncertain. To make it happen, you must carve out a time for yourself. No one else will if you don’t.
Prioritize. I’ve heard from so many people who I tell that I’ve written a book things like: “I also want to write a book…but I’ve so many other things going on.” Stop, I say. Ask yourself: “How important are all those ‘other’ things in comparison to writing a book – or completing a major project?” If you had six months to live would you regret not being able to complete your book or major project? Or would you regret not completing all those ‘other’ things? To find out, right now, take time to figure out what is most important for you. I guarantee that when you know the answer to: “what will lead me to a meaningful life?” it will become quite difficult to focus on things which do not lead to that, and ignore those that do.
It’s an investment in you. Completing a major project is certainly an investment in you. Even when the return is not in sight, investing in you will pay back one way or another – even if your bank account does not show it right after your project is complete. It could be that an opportunity will arise because of a skill you acquired, or a connection you made along the way. It’s key to stay open to possibilities.
Only listen to those who support you. Block out all others who don’t. Imagine that you decide to run a marathon. For most of us, that’s a gigantic undertaking – I should know, I ran the Disney World Marathon in 1998. Now imagine it’s race day and that you’re running alongside your best friend. All along the way, your friend is saying something along the lines of: “You won’t make it. What where you thinking when you signed up for this? You’ll never make it since you’ve never run a major race before and your parents never ran a marathon. You just don’t have what it takes. Even if you make it to the finish line – which I doubt that you will – you won’t amount to much.” (Take a few deep breaths)
Now imagine that you’re running and instead your best friend is saying something along the lines of: “I know you can do this. Even if you haven’t before, there’s always a first time for everything. Even Olympic athletes have their first event. Trust me, deciding to sign up was the hardest part. All you need to do now is place one foot in front of the other. You’ll make it a step at a time. Guaranteed. Besides, you have all the time in the world. I’m right here besides you if you need me. I’m so proud of you.”
The former is how my accountant sounded when I called to ask him on day four of my writing career how I should track my expenses. My book would not be complete had I paid attention to his words of warning. The latter is how my husband, family and close friends sounded. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I made it to the finish line in large part because of your support. Namaste.
Start with the end in mind. For those of you who have participated in a race, be it a 5k, a 10k or a marathon, you know how it’s possible to visualize the finish line. It’ll take more creativity when you’re engaging in a project. Even so, it’s vital that you take time to visualize your completed project, that’s your finish line. When you do, aim to include as much of your senses to your visualization exercise. If you can, draw a picture of your end result. Then keep your drawing near your work station. I guarantee that’s what will keep you going – even when times get tough.
Be methodical. It’s likely that there will be uncertainty while you’re undertaking a major project. For that reason, it’s vital that you have a degree of control over the process. To achieve that I suggest that you approach your project methodically. Doing so will help you stay on track and be productive.
During the year that I spent writing, I followed a ritual. My main aim was to give my book the best version of me every day. Just like an athlete aims to be in the best shape possible for a major event, I treated every day of this past year as a major event. First, to make sure that I was alert and energetic every day, I did not drink alcohol during the week and went to sleep between 10pm and 10:30pm every night. Without fail I woke up at 5:10am every weekday to meditate for 20 minutes. Then I read for 30, and had a 60-minute work out. Every day I made sure I ate a balanced breakfast and that I was writing by 8:30am. Finally, I closed every day with what I call a ‘wrap up and psych up’ session. I took five to ten minutes to evaluate what I had accomplished, and to develop a to-do list for the next day. Every Thursday morning I would take twenty minutes to evaluate my progress for the week and to set goals for the coming week. Each time I completed a task, I would cross it off my to-do list. Task by task, my book came to be.
Manage your expectations. Even that I was committed to following a process – and those who know me, know I’m quite disciplined – there were times when my creativity was not there. At the beginning, when I experienced this, I would get anxious. With time I learned that letting go, and not resisting my feelings, helped get me back on track much faster than those times when I insisted on fighting the feeling. Some times it helped when I got up from my chair and did a 20 to 30 minute meditation. Believe me, for an ambitious, methodical, control-freak like me, initially lying down in the middle of the day to ‘do nothing’ was not easy. But I found that doing so helped me get back on track. I learned to see those 20 to 30 minutes as an investment. If I stopped for 30 minutes, in return I would receive hours of productivity. If I insisted on squeezing material out of my tired mind, I would at most get frustrated.
Be thankful. Every single day I took time to acknowledge how lucky I am for having the opportunity to focus on one of my dreams. To remind myself to say ‘thanks’ I carried a gratitude rock in my pocket and one in my bag. Seeing it made me stop to say: ”thanks for this opportunity”. This exercise kept me focused, and reminded me to not take a single day for granted – that means I gave my writing the best of me every single day.
Right now ask yourself what can you do to get closer to your goals. Drop what you’re doing and go do that one thing right now.
“I knew that the quicker I moved on the better position I’d be for the next opportunity.” Ben Graham, 1st Australian ever to play in the Super Bowl, after he got fired three times in four months.
Even during an economic downturn, finding meaning in our lives is not a privilege reserved only for a select few – it’s everyone’s responsibility.
At the risk of sounding too preachy, I’ll borrow some insight from Jewish wisdom that says: ”The day that you were born was the day that G-d decided that the world could no longer live without you.”
That means two things:
First, that we all matter to this world.
Second, that it is up to each one of us to find out exactly why we were put on Earth – so that we can fulfill our unique purpose. (I can assure you that while paying bills is part of life’s package – it is not anyone’s main reason for being)
Here I share with you the process that helped me uncover what I’ve come to call my reason for being.
To get your mental juices flowing, take time to imagine what you would do with your life if you did not have any bills to pay. If it helps your imagination, take some time to relax before you answer this question. Close you eyes if it helps you relax. Take a few deep breaths. Let it all go. Once your mind is still, imagine that it’s your 80th birthday (or 100th depending on your gene pool). What would you like your friends and family to say about your achievements and your contributions? What about your adventures?
Now consider the following three dimensions of your work life:
Where your distinguishing skill (career advice), predominant interest (self-improvement) and obvious strength (persuasion) intersect is your unique reason for being.
When I took time to complete this exercise, I discovered that my reason for being is:
To inspire and empower people around the world to create, follow and succeed on their path and consequently become better citizens of planet Earth. To achieve this I will empower you with insight and know-how to claim control over your career and succeed on your own terms.
It’s your turn now. I’d love to know why on earth were you put on Earth.
According to Jewish Mysticism (a.k.a. Kabbalah) the number 9 represents truth*. Since it’s 2009, I’ve taken the liberty to declare this my year of finding my own truth.
Part of my commitment has been to discover what gives meaning to my life. That includes finding meaningful work. Those things that bring meaning to my life are what I call my truth. And as I have my truth, I believe that you do as well. Some of you may already know what that is. In case you don’t, read on to see how you can tell if your current job is devoid of meaning.
Here are the tell tale signs:
1. You feel that it’s enough to do as little as possible in your job.
2. You start to crave external rewards, like bonuses, a pat on the back or a ‘well done’ from your boss.
3. You play the blame game – and flick-off responsibility for your well-being at work to your boss or employer.
4. You are stuck focusing on ‘what happened?’ rather than ‘what can I do?’ whenever a challenge comes your way.
5. Little annoyances feel like big obstacles.
6. It seems that most of your friends’ jobs are better than yours.
7. You feel jealous – instead of happy – for other people’s achievements.
8. You spend more time planning your next holiday than developing a five year plan for your career.
9. Drudgery rather than excitement is your prevailing mood during the week.
10. Paying bills is your only reason for being – and for getting out of bed every morning.
In my next post I’ll share with you an exercise I completed that brought me closer to finding my truth at work .
Stay tuned.
*Thank you Rabbi Shuey Rosemblum for sharing your wisdom.
On my latest trip to South America I met a remarkable woman who I’ll call Maria.
Maria took care of my grandfather for many years until the second that life left him a week ago at age 96.* As thankful as I am for her unconditional support and care for grandpa Pipo during his last years, that’s not the reason why I found her to be a special person.
Here’s why.
After the funeral, Maria and I became quite close and she opened up to me. During one of our last conversations she confessed that she had a dilemma and asked me for some advice. She was in the middle of deciding whether to accept what most of her colleagues would consider an attractive job offer. My grandfather’s second wife offered Maria the opportunity to stay working in her household and keep her company for an indefinite period of time. In her new role she would not be required to take care of sick or elderly people. In essence, Maria was offered a cruisy job for a very competitive pay. Even so, Maria was conflicted because she happens to take pride and find meaning in her nursing role. Keeping a healthy person company – although is easy in comparison – does not give Maria the fulfillment that she finds in knowing that thanks to her, an elderly person has a better quality of life during their last years on Earth.
Maria’s dilemma reminded me of a situation I encountered some years ago while I was attending a sales conference as a medical sales representative. During an afternoon break I overheard one of the more senior sales reps say to a group of rookies that they should give their new job at least six months, because after they got the hang of things, they wouldn’t have to do much – and still get paid well. That conversation has stayed with me over the years because I’m still trying to figure out how someone can stay at a job where they get paid to do ‘not much’. In this situation one might think that employees are short-changing their employer. In my mind, the only one getting short-changed is the employee who is wasting their lifetime doing ‘not much.’
New York Times best-selling author and ultra-vagabond Tim Ferriss may not agree with me. He might argue that making money without having to work is the ideal scenario because it means that there’s time to do other things in life – like dance Tango. That’s fine by me if a vagabond existence brings meaning to someone’s life. If it doesn’t, then a cruisy job comes only at the expense of the employee – not the employer.
Like Maria, doing something that I find meaningful brings meaning to my life. That is one of the reasons I go to work. The question is what brings meaning to your life? Is that what you’re spending your lifetime on?
*Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. Given that Grandpa Pipo passed painlessly at 96, I feel sad that he is gone, but happy that he had a full life and I’m hopeful that he is in a better place. Fingers crossed that I inherited his gene pool!
This time last year I was in the middle of making an important decision for my career and life. I had to decide whether or not I would resign from a corporate job that looked fabulous on the outside to write on a full time basis. To begin with I had national management responsibilities and was the youngest member of the executive team in a multi-million dollar startup. I was working with like-minded people and reporting to a female CEO worthy of imitation. My pay package was quite competitive and I had a 20-minute commute in mild traffic – and across Sydney’s Harbour Bridge which offers a stunning view of the Opera House.
So who in their right mind would even consider resigning from a job like that? Before you judge me too harshly, know that as good as my job sounds, it was not meaningful to me. It was the role I was aspiring to for years but was ultimately unfulfilling – and that did not feel good inside.
Maybe you’re thinking that I’m asking for too much. I think it’s quite the contrary. I left looking to give more, not receive more.
“How so?” You ask.
I reached a point in my career where I’d taken enough. Among other things, I had the flashy title and the salary I set out to achieve five years earlier. It was time for me to give back.
In this, my final post for 2008, I share with you the questions I answered and the guidelines I followed that led me to discover what I really want to do with my life.
Read – at your own risk – if you’re also looking to lead a more meaningful life.
Start with the end in mind. Begin by asking yourself: “What do I need to achieve in the following five years to feel fulfilled with my life?” When you answer, allow yourself to dream huge. Craft your answer around ‘and’ not ‘either/or’ terms.
If you don’t know what you want, start by writing down what you don’t want, or want less of in your work life. In my case I knew that I wanted to contribute in a more meaningful way. But I did not know what that meant exactly. I knew that I had to do something that was genuinely me. Not follow a ‘me-too’ path. I also knew that selling insurance and managing a team were not what I called ‘contributing’.
Fill your goals with meaning. Now ask yourself ‘Why?’ “Why do I want to achieve my goals?” Identify what it will mean to you, the ones you love, your community and the world in general once you achieve your goals. Take time to look inside. If you find it hard to answer this for a particular goal, be open to the possibility that it could be because that goal is not as important as you originally thought. If that’s the case, don’t be discouraged. Instead use this as an opportunity to identify a more meaningful goal.
Knowing the real reasons why you want something so much will help you stay committed to your goals and focused. For those very reasons, this is the most important step in the process.
Develop a plan. Finally, ask yourself: ’How?’ In other words, ask: “What do I need to achieve my goals?” Focus on the resources that you’ll need. How much time and money will you need? Do you need to up-skill? More education? Experience?
Then take time to think through the obstacles that may come across along the way. Take it a step further and come up with at least two solutions for each obstacle. Make sure not to confuse real obstacles with your fears. To tell the difference, test your thoughts against reality. Are you being catastrophic? Or are you generalizing?
It took me a few days to complete this three-step process, but I guarantee that the time I spent working through it has been one the best investments I’ve made on my career.
May 2009 be a meaningful year for us all.
Take a deep breath – with a little smile.
Silvana
*Rash decisions may lead to career suicide.
Even if I may not always agree with what Dr. Sullivan has to say over at ere.net (like what he wrote about talent swapping), his out-of-the-box thinking is quite refreshing. Recently he wrote an article about proximity recruiting. Proximity recruiting is about finding candidates through face-to-face interactions – as opposed to non-physical recruiting including job ads and boards. If you’ve been to a career fair, then you experienced vanilla-flavored proximity recruiting.
In his article Dr. Sullivan presents the example of a start-up company that took proximity recruiting to the next level. Because I found their story inspiring, here are a few of the details.
In need of talented staff, when this start-up got tipped by insiders of one of the biggest and most innovative players in the market that they were restructuring and laying off several hundred of their employees, the start-up team got to work. Rather than passively wait for those employees who lost their jobs or were about to, to find their company on the internet or at the next career fair. They created their own opportunity to engage in proximity recruiting. Literally, they set up a taco stand outside the big player’s offices. As those who were affected by the restructuring left the building, they were invited for a free meal – which included a chance to meet and greet the team and learn about job opportunities.
Some might see this as a desperate and maybe even unethical move – because it can be said that the start-up’s aim was to steal talent from the other company. Fair enough, but it’s already common practice for companies to steal clients from one another – that’s what astronomical sales and marketing budgets are for. And more important, their strategy worked. Since in the age of twitter nothing goes unnoticed or stays quiet, the start-up received free publicity – which in the end resulted in more people learning about them – and their innovative ways – and some eventually applied for a job.
The moral of this story is that the start-up used its small size to its advantage. In a nutshell, they were nimble because they were quick, responsive and resourceful.
You and I as job seekers can choose to follow their lead. In the current economic climate being nimble – as employees or self-employed – is a necessity.
How are you thinking outside-the-box? Or are you staying stuck, paralyzed by your fears, waiting for the calm to restore?
*Thank you sportsscribe at flickr for the photo
It has been an active end of year.
My first book is in the editing stage, my posts are appearing on more and more places in the blogoshpere (thanks everyone for your support!) and I’ve been invited to contribute to a number of blogging communities.
As I shared with you earlier, I’m now part of the Women For Hire Be Gutsy Blog. I’m also part of the blogging communities over at Damselsinsuccess and of course Brazencareerist. To my absolute delight, recently I was invited to contribute to the Tools For Life blog at Qvisory.
Very much in line with my own vision, Qvisory is a nonprofit online advocacy and service that was created specifically to help 18 to 34 year olds take control of their money, their career and their health. I’m thrilled to be part of their team of volunteer contributors. I’ll update my posts regularly.
In my first post I cover the pros of having a day job before going into business on your own. Based on my own experiences as a serial entrepreneur and strategic job hopper, these are some of the tips you’ll find:
1. Make mistakes on someone else’s tab
2. Receive free training
3. Get ideas
Read more of: Why Bother With a Day Job When You Want to Be an Entrepreneur?
And no, this is not a self-promotion. My intention in sharing this with you is to pass on a few online resources which I’ve found valuable in more ways than one.
Happy, healthy and abundant holidays everyone!
*Like the picture? Go to flickr