Tag Archives: career advice

Stop the Self-sabotage – Play it Forward

alcanza metas, autoconciencia, empoderamiento, empoderamiento profesional, liderazgo, , , , , , , , , ,

It’s a no-brainer that our decisions have consequences – the question is do our actions reflect our knowledge of this simple fact?

It was the know-it-all comment by a teen-age girl to her mom that prompted me to re-examine my own actions.  As I was going about my own business in the locker room at the local pool where I go for my weekly swim, I over-heard a mom and her teen-age daughter arguing.  At the crux of their argument was the daughter’s refusal to place her bag inside one of the lockers.  I did not find it surprising that the daughter refused to do so – or even that she rolled her eyes in the process.  On the other hand, I found it fascinating to hear how the daughter justified her decision.  With some attitude, she told her mom, almost verbatim: “What’s the point mom? It’s such a waste of time to put my bag in a locker.  What for?”  Now, I’m far from being a mind-reader, but after watching ‘What Women Want’ (2000) I’ve become quite good at listening to people’s thoughts.  I could hear the mom thinking: “Yeah right, taking 30 seconds to put your bag in a locker is a waste of time!  I’ll tell you what’s a waste of time…taking weeks to replace your stolen documents and to earn back your allowance!”

From how that argument unfolded – the mom lost – I learned that what may seem very minor decisions throughout our day, deserve more of our attention because they could end up disturbing our lives in a major way.

For example, while I was working as a pastry apprentice in a hot hotel kitchen in Miami, some days standing on my feet for 12 hours at a time, the last thing that I wanted to do at the end of my shift was clean my tools.  A shower and a bed was all that was on my mind.  But I learned the hard way that dashing out with a tool-box full of sticky knives and piping cones was not a smart move.  After spending an afternoon cutting chocolate cakes and then plating desserts until mid-night, I decided to go home (a shower & a bed) without properly cleaning my serrated knife.  That’s when I found out that staying back 10 more minutes after a shift to run my tools through hot water was a piece of cake in comparison to having to empty out my tool box to get rid of the ant colony that was inside having a feast.  What about when writing a document at work, be it a contract for a client or a board paper, or a fax.  Do we feel it’s a drag to stop every few minutes to hold down the Control and the S keys?  (for my Mac it’s Command and S)  Realistically, how much of our time does doing that take?  On the other hand, how long would it take us to re-produce the document if our computer crashed? (okay, Mac’s don’t crash as often, but still you get my point)  One situation that I’ve been struggling with for the past 9 years is every time – without fail – that we leave the house, my husband asks me as I’m about to walk out the door, if I have my house keys.  Almost each time – without fail – I can feel myself roll my eyes (just like the teen-ager in the locker room) and say to myself: “here he goes again!”.  But, here I go.  For the first time ever, I’m willing to admit that he’s doing the right thing.  He’s thinking about the consequences.  And I’m hoping that following my almost indecent exposure that you’ll agree that as annoying as it may be to check for house keys, that it’s much more aggravating and time consuming to be locked out of the house. 

With this I’m not advocating that we lead paranoid existences.  I’m proposing that we become more preventive and think through our decisions – even the small ones. 

Which decisions could you play forward and stop the self-sabotage?  

Same city – Different outlook – Totally different experiences

autoconciencia, empoderamiento, empoderamiento profesional, liderazgo, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Peace and quiet in the middle of the hustle and bussle

It’s day 12 since I started my 30-day “happy no matter what challenge” – and I’ve decided to write an update because it was earlier today that I noticed something was different in my life.  While writing this, I’m mindful that my progress report might disappointment some.  For those of you who were expecting to read that I’ve found it easier to find parking spots, nope, the Law of Attraction has yet to solve that for me.  In fact, I just come from spending 30 minutes feeling very frustrated while looking for a place to leave my car for all of 5 minutes so I could grab some lunch.  In that regards, I can’t say that I’ve been better at keeping my cool when those small things get in my way.  As far as becoming a billionaire, I feel that I’m getting close, but I haven’t had a call from a rich relative to let me know that I’ll be getting a big chunk in advance.

So if it’s not the small stuff that I’m attracting and it’s not the big stuff either, then what is it that I’ve noticed is different in my life?  By minding my feelings and aiming to feel happy even if it means tickling myself in public, I’ve noticed a significant shift in my outlook on things.  That may sound minor in comparison to what you were expecting me to attract – convenience and instant wealth.  But based on the experiences that I’ve had in the last few days, that is no small thing for me. 

Let me explain.

Last week, while I was in Hong Kong (HK), I had the benefit of meeting someone who clearly needs to, as Lynn Grabhorn says in her book Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting, “open the valve” to let some happy in.  One night, while sitting outside of my hotel room so that I could work without waking up my husband, a very chatty neighbor approached me.  I let him interrupt because I was curious as to what the universe would bring to my door-step at that time of the night. (you can relax because I’m not a murder-mystery writer so you don’t have to worry about my safety)

The universe brought me a very important life lesson.  My neighbor, a pearl farmer from Seychelles (East Africa), was in HK attending the jewellery exhibition that was taking place in town.  Soon after we met, he went on to speak his mind about how he thought that HK was one of the most rotten places on earth.  He complained about the pollution, the frivolity of the people, the traffic and on and on and on he went.  I let him go on because I found his rant quite amuzing.  Like an anthropologist doing an ethnography on an indigenous tribe in Africa, there I was, doing a study on the power of perspective (on an African just as well).  Clearly, my neighbor and I were experiencing the same exact city.  Yet he was spending most of his free time cooped up in his hotel room, looking to avoid what he saw as overcrowded, polluted and noisy city streets, while I was busy seeing, tasting, and feeling new things.

Of course there was traffic and pollution and noise 24/7, but there was also a world of experiences to be lived.  On most mornings before work, I went for a walk through Victoria Park where I watched locals practice their daily Tai-Chi ritual, while others danced Abba (with a straight face) and others swam laps. I experienced new and unusual flavors at one of the city’s oldest vegetarian restaurants – which happened to be just 3 blocks away from my hotel (Tung Fong Siu Kee Yuen at 111 Wan Chai Road).  If you’re a vegan – like me – or a vegetarian and you’ve been to HK, you would know that such a spot would feel like an oasis in the midst of all the dead ducks, pig’s body parts and who knows what that are hanging from almost every other restaurant window.  On the week-end, I met a friendly local who drove me around the art galleries and antique shops on Upper Lascar Row – in a hip convertible mini-cooper.  And the greatest highlight of all was spending a morning meditating at the Chi Lin Nunnery.  Founded in the 1930s, this monastery was built in the Tang Dynasty style.  It’s all made out of wood and no nails where used in its construction.  The energy in this quiet place – which happens to be in a busy neighborhood – is both intense and calming – like nothing I’d experienced before. 

It’s questionable and hard to prove whether I attracted these experiences into my life.  But I can say that I did not go looking for any of this, because like my neighbor, I did not know that all this existed in HK.  Like him, I too could’ve stayed locked up in my hotel room during my free time.  But I found that somehow, these flavors, sights and sounds flowed into my life – quite effortlessly.

Now that I’m back in Sydney, feeling energized and fulfilled from my trip, I plan to do exactly what I’ve been doing – feeeling happy no matter what.  

Stay tuned.

The method behind my job-switching madness (The Secret)

alcanza metas, autoconciencia, empoderamiento, empoderamiento profesional, estratégico y sostenible, liderazgo, , , , , , , , , ,

I’ve been asked more than once why on earth do I switch jobs so often.  To set the record straight, in this post I’ll let you in on the biggest secret of my career so that hopefully a. people stop dropping their jaws when they hear that I’ve had 12 jobs in ten years and b. you learn a few tricks that will benefit your own career.

The main reason I consider myself a strategic job-hopper and not a hopeless one is because at my core I am an entrepreneur.  Let me explain.  Aside from being born into a family of enterprise builders (who have set up multiple manufacturing plants of 200 + employees), since the age of five I have been setting up businesses.  (Click here to find out more about my mango stand).  But as a college graduate, when the time came for me to make a living for myself, it made more business sense for me to get a job than to set up a business.  That’s when I became the first adult in two generations of my family to be an employee.  Because until that point I’d only either worked with my family’s businesses or owned my own, I only knew about business ownership not employee-hood. So by default I viewed my career just as I viewed a business venture and approached it in similar ways.  I’m far from being perfect, but I believe that my entrepreneurial view of my career is what has driven me to switch jobs at the rate that I have – and to succeed because of it.

To share the wealth, below are the main philosophies and strategies that have guided my career for the past ten years:

  1. I work with an employer, not for them.  In essence I see myself as an employee-owner, not a vanilla-flavored employee who’s at the mercy of an employer.  Admittedly this is merely a play on words, but believing that as an employee I work with an employer not for them, has been the lynchpin of my career.  This approach to work is what allows me to feel that I’m in control of my career and the master & commander of my own ship.  And in my mind, just like restructuring is a fact of life for businesses to succeed, resigning from a job is a naturally occurring change of course, not an underhanded ship jump.  For that very reason I’ve always made it a point to exit in style and maintain the relationships that I’ve worked so hard to build with my boss and colleagues. (check out this post to find out how I exit in style)
  2. I know my key assets. Whenever I’ve considered a business opportunity I’ve performed a feasibility analysis to learn about strengths, weaknesses, threats and opportunities (i.e. SWOT).  As an employee I’ve followed a similar logic and I’ve made it a point to frequently self-assess my key assets:  my interests, my skills (& my strengths) and my values. (If you’d like to find out what assessments I’ve used, check out this post)  Aside from being aware of my priorities at different points in time, I also know what I bring to the table and what I need to improve to get to where I want to.  Having this information about myself guides me during a job search and also increases my negotiating power during interviews.  In fact, the last three times that I changed jobs, I received pay packages that were 30% higher than my previous salary.
  3. I have a strategic career plan.  Since day one of my career I’ve made it a point to work with the end in mind.  In fact, for the past ten years I’ve been planning my career in five-year chunks.  So not only do I know where I want to be in five years I also know what I need in order to get there.  This does not mean that my final destination hasn’t changed after I’ve set it.  In fact, in ten years, I’ve changed my destination more than once.  For example, after I worked for over a year as a pastry chef fantasizing almost every day that in 5 years I’d be a top pastry chef, I realized that industrial kitchens were not a place for me.  I decided to change courses and to use my business degree to make a living.  But before I made my move, I spent time assessing my key assets and drafting a 5-year plan based on the opportunities that I could access with my non-existent office experience.  There’s also the time when I was working as a medical sales rep selling prescription drugs with a pharmaceutical company.  Selling prescription drugs was meant to be a training ground for me to be able to sell medical devices, which is where the big bucks are made in the world of medical sales (I suggest that you make a mental note of this fact).  But six months into my role selling prescription drugs, I realized that I did not enjoy chasing doctors around, no matter how good a living I had the potential of making.  Again I went back to drawing board and I dropped the idea of working with a medical device company.  Instead, months later, I accepted a job as a consultant, which still got me the big bucks that I was looking for.  Quite simply, by working with the end in mind, I’ve always had a very good idea of how long I need to stay at a job in order to get to the next job that will get me closer to where I want to be at the end of the five years.  It’s my plan that tells me when to sell and when to buy, not my mood swings or my boss’s.
  4. I approach my daily tasks systematically.  I learned to work systematically while training to be a pastry chef.  As an apprentice I learned, mostly by burning myself, that in the kitchen there’s an efficient way and a not so smart way to do almost everything – and the more senior chefs have a blast letting you know the difference. And if you insist on ignoring the rules, stuff will either burn or be late.  Both big no-no’s in the food business.  By transferring this approach to an office environment (be it a home office, a car or a cubicle), I’ve been able to consistently deliver high quality results throughout my career.  And it’s because I deliver results and have a formula to do so consistently that I’ve remained very employable – and have been able to get interviewers to look at what I bring to the table, not how little I’m likely to stay at a job.
  5. I seek to improve myself.  My ongoing search for being the best version of myself has led me to learn a series of techniques that are based on Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), Positive Psychology and Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT).  By applying these techniques to my work-life, although I’m most certainly a work in progress, I have the insight and tools to change habits and behaviors that get in the way of my goals.  For those who either frown upon or walk fast past the self-improvement section of the bookstore, I suggest that you think again.  Based on the premise that knowledge equals power, my self-knowledge has certainly placed me in the seat of power of my career.

Happy days (NO matter what!)

autoconciencia, empoderamiento, liderazgo, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Here’s the deal.  At 19 I thought I was doing my mom a favor whenever I worked up a smile on my face.  (look ma’ I can smile!)  Later on I thought I was humoring my life-coach by being a good client and following her advice to look for the positive side of things.  (look coach, I can reframe!)  But after reading Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting and learning about the Law of Attraction, I now know that I am the one who stands to benefit the most – not my mom or my coach – from looking for ways to feel happy, no matter what. 

WHAT in the universe is the Law of Attraction?

Note: for some this might take some mind-bending.

My intention in sharing this with you is not to question any scientific theory or to support Quantum Physics.  Instead I intend to make your life (and mine) better by applying some simple logic.

According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like.  Which means that positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative.  Yes, I know, according to my 9th grade physics teacher, and to Coulomb’s Law, it’s opposites that attract.  So that would mean that negative attracts positive and vice versa.  But open your mind (and put your physics book down) and think about the following.  Have you, when you’ve been in a positive mood, feeling great, willingly sought to be with a negative person?  For example at a party, when you’ve been having a blast, have you gone to hang-out with the party pooper in the corner?  My guess is that your answer will be a resounding NO WAY because you much rather be with your friends who are also jumping up and down feeling great just like you.  I’ll make this more relevant to your work-life.  If you look close enough at how your colleagues at work gather at lunch-time, it’s very likely that you’ll notice that all the complainers and whiners tend to sit at the same table.  I can speak for myself that when I was working within an organization in corporate Australia, I made it a point to avoid negative people as if they were a plague.

Now do you see what I mean?  Negative people definitely repel positive ones and positive ones attract positive ones.

Following that same logic, in order to attract more positive into our lives, we MUST feel positive.  Simply put, according to the Law of Attraction, we emit energy of the physical kind through how we feel.  Positive feelings, like when we’re feeling excited and happy, emit positive energy.  Negative feelings, like when we’re feeling frustrated or bummed, emit negative energy.  It follows that based on how we feel, positively or negatively, we attract either type of energy into our lives.  Got it? (read that one more time if you’re like me and need to know how things work before you jump into action)

And that’s exactly why it’s in your best interest (and mine) to feeel* positive – to attract positive things. 

I’m not suggesting that we need to be fake – and pretend to feel happy even when the going gets tough.  To begin with there’s a time to feel down.  Like when a parent passes away or when s*** happens, of the real kind. Feeling down at times means that you’re human – and that’s a great thing.  But also, pretending, according to the Law of Attraction will not do the trick simply because to emit the energy you must feel it.  On the other hand, intending to feel a certain way will in fact get you to shift your energy. Based on that, the key is to allow yourself to be in that down state for as little as you possibly can because quite simply, being down, although is part of the human condition, doesn’t solve anything.  Worse yet, it attracts more negative things.  In other words, when we remain in a negative state, emitting negative energy, we run the great risk of attracting into our lives more of what is making us feel sad, frustrated, angry. 

So the trick is to say to yourself – “fine, it’s okay for me to feel down, but how can I get out of this state ASAP?”

Inspired by my new-found knowledge and determined to attract all the good that the universe has stored for me, I’ve decided to spend the next 30 days (okay 27 cause I started on Saturday) feeeling happy NO matter what!

Because I’d LOVE for you to join me, here I share with you exactly what I’ve been doing.

How in the universe can you feeel happy NO matter what!?

Since I started trying to keep up my positive feeling, I’ve noticed that I’m really good at focusing on what I don’t want in life.  For example, while I was driving to the gym this morning, a driver turned unexpectedly into my lane and bam, I felt my anger rising.  And just like that, at the snap of a finger, my energy went from positive to negative.

So step 1 in getting rid of negative energy in my life is to shift my focus from what I DON’T want to what I DO want.  To do that, whenever I feel a negative emotion, like anger or frustration or anxiety, I simply observe myself get angry, frustrated or anxious and then when my temper tantrum is over, I ask myself: “What is it that I do want from this?”

In this all too common situation in my life, here’s my wish list:  I’d like for my driving not to be interrupted by clueless drivers!  I’d like for the world to be free of clueless drivers!  And I’d like the flow of positive energy to continue in my life, uninterrupted by clueless drivers.  So I see, I want to feel good.  Aha! There it is. That’s my clue.

If I want to feel good, then why don’t I just feel good?  Duh! (I can almost hear you saying).  Because a clueless driver just crossed my lane, right?  Fair enough.  But what if I could learn to somehow feel good regardless of what just happened?  I know, it’s so hard.  Believe me, I know.  I’m there with you all the time.  I’ve only being doing this for 3 days so I’m no pro. 

Thankfully there is a way for us all to shift feelings. Here are the set of techniques that have helped me survive the past three days. (thanks Lynn Grabhorn)

I hope that they enlighten you too:

1. Plan A:  Smile. To get me warmed up, I try, as hard as I can to make myself smile.  I can’t say that this is an easy thing to do.  Frankly, the last thing I feel like doing when I’m feeling angry or down is smiling.  Somehow my facial muscles don’t work.  But because I’m determined to feel happy no matter what for the next 28 days, I’ve been fighting gravity and hard.  And you know what?  I’ve been getting good results.  Whenever I force my cheeks to move up, I feel a minor rush of happiness.  And that gets me going on my way to shifting my energy.  I’m quite surprised by this finding because even though I’ve read research papers that show that when we smile, our body releases certain chemicals that make us feel good, I hadn’t experienced it first-hand.  Which simply tells me that I hadn’t tried hard enough.  And I must be smiling quite a bit lately because more than once my husband has asked me what I’m smiling about!

2. Plan B:  Ask myself if ANYTHING is worth risking attracting negative stuff into my life.  My second ammunition against negative feelings is to tell myself: “So what if (fill in with negative event such as: ‘that clueless driver cut across my lane’)? Is that event worth risking attracting negative stuff into my life – by allowing it to shift the energy that I’m emitting?” Of course not. 

3. Plan C:  Flip the switch.  In case plans A or B don’t work, I’ve developed a mental list of things that make me feel happy.  Lynn calls this technique ‘flipping the switch’.  To flip my switch back to positive, I refer to my mental list to remind myself of all the good things in my life.  And I have no doubt that if you look hard enough at your own life, that you’ll also find things to be happy about.  Do you have a trip coming up?  Did you recently win a bet?  Do you have cute nieces and nephews?  Did you recently get a gift from someone?  Did someone cute poke you on facebook?  I promise you that if you look close enough, you’ll find that you have plenty of things to feel good about.  To get me through my 30-day challenge, I developed a list of 30 things that make me feel a tingle, one for each day.

What do you say? Are you feeling up for feeling happy- no matter what for the next 30 days – and attracting all the positive things that the universe has stored for you?

(Stay tuned for another post where I’ll share with you the positive things that come into my life after I complete my 30-day challenge)

————————————-

*thanks Lynn Grabhorn – spelling it that way just feeels much better

For yu’ my friend: If you’d like to learn more about the Law of Attraction, I suggest that you read one or all of the following: The Law of Attraction by Esther Hicks, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne (available in DVD too), and Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn.

You become what you read

alcanza metas, contruyendo redes, empoderamiento, empoderamiento profesional, estratégico y sostenible, liderazgo, negociacion, retroalimentacion, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

In line with an earlier post where I talk about taking responsibility for outcomes in your career and striving to give work the best version of you, I believe that one of the best (and easiest) ways to self-actualize is through reading top-shelf publications, including books and journals – both on-line and off.

Reading – of the good kind – is perhaps one of the best things that I’ve done for my career.  That is why it irks me every time that I see a girl on the train, wearing what look like excruciatingly painful high-heels* and too much make- up for day light, holding a New Idea magazine (I prefer to call it No Idea – it’s Australia’s #1 gossip mag).   To me that train ride is a missed opportunity for her to learn something of value and do something with her life.  While I believe that a little brain candy is necessary to keep sane in life, it should by no means be something that a. one spends much time on or b. any money on.  You read right. 

My personal rule of thumb for keeping sane and staying actualized is 90/10. That means that I spend most of my life time reading worthy material and only 10% reading mind-numbing stuff.  If you’d like to stick to the infamous Pareto Principle, by all means shoot for 80/20 – or risk turning into a personality-less consumerist. 

I think I can count on one hand the number of times that I’ve bought (with my own money) a beauty magazine.  (Okay, I admit that getting beauty and gossip magazines from doctors’ consulting rooms, was one of the perks of working as a medical sales representative)  However, I cannot keep track of the number of National Geographic, The Economist, Time, Business Week, Harvard Business Review, inc. and Entrepreneur that I’ve invested in. 

While I do believe that EVERY publication, whether top-shelf or not, has SOMETHING to offer, I don’t believe in looking too hard to find gold.  More so, statistics say (and don’t ask me how statisticians come up with this stuff) that you get an average of 10% from any book that you read.  So if you insist on reading crap, well, you do the math…

By far the book that has had the most positive impact on my career has been (drum roll please) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey (http://www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits.php). My intention is not to give you a summary here – my intention is to get you to get off your bum and read it if you haven’t.  I read it for the first time more than 10 years ago and some of the principles that Stephen writes about continue to guide me.  Sure, his writing can sound like a sermon at times – but for those of you looking to take your career seriously, this is the Bible. 

(I know that my dear friend James Adonis – a very successful twentysomething, would agree. Check out his new venture: www.teamleaders.com.au)

3 of Stephen’s habits that remain on the top of my mind are:

1. Be proactive.  In my world, this has meant quite literally: ‘get off your bum and go get things done for yourself – cause no-one will make things happen for you’.  Maybe that’s the reason why I get up at 5:10am every day to meditate for 20 minutes, then I read for 20 minutes and then I go to the gym for an hour.  All this is to make sure that I give my work the best version of my self.  That includes a focused mind, an actualized self and an oxygenated brain & body. 

2. Begin with the end on mind.  I remember that when I finished reading that chapter, I took out a pen and paper and wrote down what I’d like my life to look like when I looked back on my 100th birthday.  Doing that exercise sure fired me up.  That was when I realized that it was up to me to make out of my life what I wanted my life to be.   It became clear to me that if I did not know where I was going, then I’d be leaving myself for the taking of those who did know.

3. Put first things first.  I’ve taken this habit to a more practical level. The time management matrix that he offers for separating the urgent from the important is probably the best model that I’ve seen for getting things done at work. Ever since the days when I was working as a pastry chef, almost 10 years ago, I’ve been following a time-management ritual.  I plan my weeks on Thursday afternoon and my days the night before.  Every Thursday I jot down everything that I’d like to get done the following week; my to-do list.  Then I go through the list and for each item I ask myself: ‘is this urgent? or is this important? or both?’  Then I mark the urgent and important with a letter A, the important with a letter B and the urgent with a letter C. Every night of the week, to get closure on my day and to get psyched up for the next day, I go through my to-do list and re-prioritize it based on what I’ve accomplished so far.  By doing this I’m making sure that I’m focusing on what’s most important in my life – not in someone else’s.

What have you done for your mind lately?

————————————-

*For the record, I believe in wearing stilettos at work. But please, if you need to walk on hard city pavement for more than two blocks, do me a favor.  Get yourself a nice-looking shoe bag so that you can keep your high-heels in your purse.  Then change to them in the elevator – feet binding is so passé ladies!

Note: I do not and will not get any remuneration from any provider if my readers – you – buy or use any of their services…I’m just sharing the wealth cause I care about you!

Does it matter if you’re a Baby Boomer, a Gen Xer or a Gen Yer?

autoconciencia, empoderamiento, estratégico y sostenible, liderazgo, retroalimentacion, , , , , , , , , ,

(Thanks Jane for your question)

When it comes to career ownership, in my book, it really does not matter if you’re 50, 40, 30 or 20. In an interconnected world, where we are all free agents we must be able to own our career and run it like a business. For that reason the advice that I give about career ownership in this blog (and in my upcoming book), has no generational boundaries. 

To not risk being dragged by someone else’s vision or risk working towards someone else’s dreams, you need to follow a set of principles and have strategies in place.  The fact is that it’s never too late or too early to be in the seat of power of your career.

To achieve that you need to:

  1. Work as an owner-employee.  In career-speak this simply means that as an employee you should work with an employer, not for them.  In my mind, continuing to see yourself as ‘someone who works for another’ (which by the way is the dictionary’s definition of employee) is a form of self-imposed slavery. In my book that makes for cog-employees.
  2. Take full responsibility for your career growth – and do something about it.  As the one responsible for the outcomes in your career, you need to be able to change behaviours that get in the way of your goals.  I’ve personally found that by applying to my work-life a combination of techniques from Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Positive Psychology, I have been able to improve myself on an ongoing basis.  Doing so is what guarantees that I don’t get stuck in self-sabotaging patterns.
  3. Know your key assets.  Self-assessing your personality style, your skills (and strengths), your values and interests is what enables you to know what rewards motivate you and what you offer to an employer.  Aside from this information being crucial for your sense of self-worth, it’s also very powerful when negotiating your next pay-package.
  4. Have a strategic plan.  A strategic career plan is what will enable you to make sound decisions for your career.  I personally find that planning my career in 5-year chunks gives me enough vision forward yet leaves me flexibility to change my course.  Regardless of the time-frame that you use to plan your own career, what’s most important is that you set out working with the end in mind.
  5. Have systems and processes in place that support your day-to-day work.  Quite simply, having a formula for consistently delivering high quality results is what ensures that you add value to an employer.  In exchange for great work, you have the option to command more money and more benefits.

How can you leave a job in style?

alcanza metas, autoconciencia, empoderamiento, empoderamiento profesional, estratégico y sostenible, liderazgo, nirvana profesional, , , , , , , , ,

If after you’ve weighed up your options, you feel that switching jobs is your best course of action, the next best thing you can do is leave elegantly from your current job.  Doing so is key to preserving your reputation and your relationship with your boss and colleagues.  Always remember that in the end, we’re all free agents in the world of work.  So trust me, being known as someone who always does the right thing will always play to your advantage.

These are my ground rules for leaving a job with a bit of bling:

  1. Aim to be missed. This is my mantra during the last few weeks in any job.  During those last few weeks (usually 4), my main objective becomes to leave everything in proper order.  Even if it means going above and beyond the call of duty, this becomes easy because knowing that the end is in sight usually gives me a sense of excitement which brings with it a new-found burst of energy. 
  2. Give voluntary notice.  Last time I resigned from a job I made it a point to let my boss know that I was working for 4 more weeks because I wanted to, not because I was bound by a contract to do so.  By transcending a contract, I was saying loud and clear that our relationship went beyond a work setting.  In my book, a contract will never offer a relationship what transparency and good intentions can.
  3. Always build bridges. In my mind switching jobs is simply a change of course in the big blue ocean of possibilities.  It’s not a run and hide exercise.  For that reason I believe that it’s important to preserve existing relationships, especially those you’ve spent so much time building – like with your boss and team mates.  They will always be your allies in the universe of work.
  4. Get closure.  I see the last few weeks as a great opportunity to iron things out and make things right with people I didn’t see eye-to-eye all the time.
  5. Use the spotlight to your advantage.  Don’t kid yourself. More often than not, as soon as you announce to your boss that you’re leaving, more eyes than usual will be looking at you to make sure that you don’t do anything inappropriate during your last few weeks. I say don’t resent that, instead use the extra attention to your advantage.  Make it a point to go the extra mile during the home stretch. Doing so will make a lasting impression on those making sure that you don’t pull any fast moves on your way out.

How have you left a job in style?

Are you getting an itch to switch (jobs)?

alcanza metas, contruyendo redes, empoderamiento, empoderamiento profesional, estratégico y sostenible, liderazgo, , , , , , , , ,

In the past 10 years my all-time record for staying at a job is 18 months. My average stay is 14 months. And after switching jobs 12 times, I’ve learned to tell when it’s time for me to start planning my next move.

To enlighten you, here are my top 10 telling signs:

  1. I start to feel that it’s Groundhog Day at work. I’m well aware that it’s virtually impossible for every single day, let alone task at work to be new and challenging. Inevitably there are standard processes and procedures that need to be followed and cycles to be repeated.  But when I start to feel the weight of the routine, and it seems that everything has been said and done, I know it’s time to open my eyes and ears for new opportunities.
  2. I take longer in the mornings to leave the house. Whenever I feel challenged at work, each morning I head out the door looking forward to accomplishing things at the office.  But when I start extending the time that I take to get ready to go to work, usually by spending more time reading to give my brain the stimulation that it craves and is no longer getting at work, I know it’s time to actively explore other options in the market.
  3. I get annoyed by the small things.  When a client’s request that seemed minor last week – a ‘no problem at all’, all of a sudden turns into a ‘you gotta be kidding me’ request, I know I need to look for my headhunter’s contact information.
  4. I spend more time on personal emails. My cardinal rule for personal emails is to take care of them at home, before or after work. So when my friends start to hear from me during the day on a week day, I know it’s time to research other jobs and companies.
  5. I stop volunteering for projects.  Whenever I’m interested in learning something, I perceive new projects as a great opportunity to learn about my role and the industry.  When taking on more work starts to feel like a drag, I know it’s time to tap into my network of ex-colleagues and friends to look for new opportunities.
  6. I start to wonder if what I’m doing really is for me.  When I start to feel that there’s a clash between my values and my role and/or the industry I’m working in,  I know I need to update my resume.
  7. I start to wonder if my job is contributing anything meaningful to the world. When I start to feel that I’ve been put on this earth to do something more meaningful than say promote prescription drugs or sell insurance, I know I need to contact my head-hunter.
  8. I start to look at the clock at 4:30pm and wish it would be 5pm. When I no longer willingly arrive early or stay late at work, I know it’s time to set up informational interviews.
  9. I start to question what the future holds for me at a company.  When I start to feel that my role is the highest I could possible get within a company, I know it’s time to dry-clean my sharpest looking suit.  
  10.  I start to feel that staying at my current job presents an opportunity cost for my career. Just like when I’m in love, I do not think about anyone else because I’m sure that I’m with ‘the one’, whenever I’m challenged by my work, I don’t think of other jobs.  But when I start to feel that I’m missing out on bigger and better opportunities by staying at my current job, I know it’s time to start thinking about what to say to my boss so that I can go to interviews during work hours.

How can you tell that it’s time to start planning your exit strategy? I’d love to know.

(in my next post I plan to share with you how I’ve left from 12 jobs – for the exception of 1 – on very friendly terms with my boss and colleagues)

 

“to ask or not to ask”

autoconciencia, empoderamiento, liderazgo, negociacion, , , , , , , , ,

“To ask or not to ask” that is the question.  

It’s the one I ask myself whenever asking someone for something stands between me and what I want. 

I’ll show you what I mean.

Whether what I want is to know what perfume someone walking down the street is wearing, or to use a bathroom at a restaurant where I’m not a customer, or to get a discount on a quote from a supplier, or a better seat on the plane, or more time off from work, or even a higher salary, I’ve found that unless I ask, I will never know if I will in fact be able to get what I want.

The first time that I remember dealing with this dilemma was when I was 8 years old while going to tennis camp in Miami, Florida.  It was a stinking hot summer afternoon when John McEnroe, my tennis hero of the time, came to the country club where I was going to camp to have a hit on one of the courts.  As I write this post I can almost feel my excitement when I spotted him on a court that was a few meters from where I was standing while I waited for the afternoon practice to begin.  Very quickly, my excitement turned into an obsession to get his autograph.  To his misfortune I was quite a determined kid so I decided to stand by the side of the court to wait until he took a break from his practice so that I could ask him to sign a tennis ball.  But as I soon found out (and to my own misfortune), John McEnroe can be much more stubborn than any 8 year old could even dream of being.  And what happened next taught some very valuable lessons in asking for what I want. 

On my first attempt to get his autograph, not only did he mumble a ‘no’, he also proceeded to spit on the ground and ignore the ball and marker that I was extending in his direction.  Determined to get his signature, I stayed by the side of the court waiting for him to come back to his towel and water bottle.  As he walked towards me one more time, I decided to be more proactive and I threw the tennis ball that I wanted him to sign in his direction.   He did catch it, but instead of signing it, he looked at it and threw it on to the court, in the opposite direction of where I was standing. (so much for my tactics)  Because I still had a few more minutes before my coach would call me back to the court, I decided to wait for him to come back one more time.  This time, as he walked towards me, my heart was beating at a million beats an hour.  I looked at him in the eye and as I extended a new ball and a marker I said to him: “Mr. McEnroe would you please sign this ball for me?”  He didn’t even look at me as he grabbed the ball and the marker from my pudgy hand and mumbled: “well I guess I’ll have to.” And he proceeded to sign the ball and return it to me!!!  After I thanked him, I grabbed my signed ball back and ran back to the clubhouse to show-off my victory to the other kids.

By following what I learned from McEnroe on that hot summer day I’ve been able to get most things that I ask for.  This has included 6 weeks of leave from work – with one day’s notice, a 15% increase on a pay package, access to the busiest doctors on my territory while I was selling prescription drugs, permission to work from home, extensions on deadlines, exit rows on multiple flights even though I’m 1.60 tall and vegan meals at steak houses.

Here are my ground rules for asking and getting what I want:

  1. Know that the worse that can happen if you ask is that you’ll get rejected.  Most times that will be with a simple “no”.  And most times, hearing a “no” is small change in comparison to what you stand to win if you get a “yes”.
  2. Ask as if you’re sure that you’ll get what you want.  Before you ask, convince yourself that what you’re asking for is normal – not an outlandish request.  Play that poker face to the max.
  3. Ask the right person.  In the example above, McEnroe was the only person who could sign the ball for me.  But if he hadn’t done so on my third attempt, I could’ve approached my coach to find out if he knew McEnroe and maybe could pull some strings to get me an autograph.  In the universe of work, usually a manager or a supervisor will get you what a front line employee won’t.
  4. Ask nicely.  Even after McEnroe spit on the ground, ignored me and was plain ole’ McEnroe, I did not change my tone when asking.  I let him be the lesser person.  I just watched him throw his tantrum while I kept my eye on the ball (literally) and continued to be polite.
  5. Ask until you get it.  Getting what you want might take some persevering. Just as well, I’ve found that timing is everything. Sometimes it simply works to come back later, when the person who can give you what you want is not as busy or is in a better mood.  While working as a medical sales representative, after multiple attempts and many rejections, I found this to be true with most receptionists at doctors’ consulting rooms.  I called it the “glycemic index phenomenon”.  If I asked a receptionist for permission to see a doctor soon after they’d eaten a candy or a chocolate bar, it was likely that they were experiencing a sugar low and were in a bad mood.  Consequently regardless of how polite I asked to see the doctor, I got rejected.  I learned that the best time to ask them for something was right after they had their caffeine hit and were feeling high and energetic.  Following that logic, I proceeded to buy coffees for moody receptionists who insisted on denying me access to doctors (i.e. my potential customers).  To some this would come across as bribery, but in actual fact I was trying to regulate their body chemistry!       

3 life-changing questions

autoconciencia, empoderamiento, empoderamiento profesional, liderazgo, negociacion, , , , , , , , ,

After many years of being controlled by my emotions and being reactive to situations and people, I’m slowly starting to see the light and learn ways of being more rational and responsive.  For the past few years, because I’ve made it a point to be more in tune with myself, I’m much better at handling my emotions and not allowing them to blindly rule my life.

Because I believe in sharing the wealth, below are the three questions that I most frequently ask myself whenever I start to feel that an emotion is bursting to express itself.  By having these 3 questions top of mind, when I start to feel an emotional outburst bubbling, I’m able to give myself time to think before reacting emotionally.  I’m not claiming to be reflective and rational 100% of the time. But the times that I’ve been able to think of more rational responses to situations I’m facing, I’ve found that my responses have been much more productive and constructive than the emotional reactions that I managed to stop from surfacing.

Life-changing question #1: “What am I not doing for myself that I’m expecting others to do for me?” (thanks Susan Jeffers, PhD, best-selling author of the book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway) 

I ask myself this question whenever I feel that I’m getting angry at someone. Just after a few days of being mindful of my anger, I started to notice that I usually get angry at someone because of something that I’m not doing for myself, not because of something that someone else hasn’t done for me or has done to me.  Think about that next time that you feel like biting a colleague’s head off.  Is it really their fault that you feel that way?  Or is your feeling of anger your responsibility? What aren’t you doing for yourself? I’d love to know.

Life-changing question #2: “What am I telling myself?” (thanks Fiona Harrold, the queen bee of life coaching in the UK) 

I use this question whenever I’m feeling afraid or de-motivated to do something. I’ve found that it helps me stretch myself whenever I’m about to do something that’s outside of my comfort zone.  As soon as I put my neurotic, Woody Allen-sounding little voice on trial, I start to feel more energized and some times even ready to take on the world.  See for yourself. Tune into the little voice inside your head whenever you feel deflated or afraid to do something, like cold calling* prospects or giving a presentation at a meeting. What are you telling yourself about your abilities, the potential outcomes, the situation itself, and what others think of you? Try it and let me know. 

Life-changing question #3: “What’s the worse that can happen?”

This question helps me put things in perspective when I’ve a decision to make.  It’s a question I ask myself constantly throughout day as I navigate through the many decisions that I need to make. Because of it, I’ve become a much more decisive person.  The main idea behind it is to get me to see whether or not I can handle things if things go wrong because of a decision I’ve made.  This is how a typical daily chatter inside my head goes: Should I wear the white shirt or the green one?  (What’s the worse that can happen if I choose either one?) Should I park in this spot or the other one? (What’s the worse that can happen if I choose either one?)  Should I use this supplier or the other one? (What’s the worse that can happen if I use either one?) Should I call this client or wait until the afternoon? (What’s the worse that can happen if I call at either time?)

Take a moment to this about this.  Is anything the end of the world?  I truly believe that if you think hard enough, you’ll realize that you can handle most things – maybe even the end of the world.  What do you think?

*cold calling: making unsolicited sales calls to qualified prospects.