Trust – an over-used term, I know.
That’s why the kind of trust I write about is not the one gurus and career coaches the world over suggest we build with our clients, colleagues and bosses.
Instead, the kind of trust that’s under the glass here is self-trust. Simply put, it is what you need to feel towards yourself to thrive in the world of work. It’s that feeling when you make a decision, that it’s done and over with – no to-ing and fro-ing. It’s done, finito.
Reaching that point is not easy – and for most doesn’t happen over night. Admitedly, getting to the point where you make a decision and you don’t look back, is a challenge for most. Yet the buck does not stop there. That point is not an end in itself. It is the process of reaching it that matters the most.
Because building self-trust is a process that requires self-awareness, simplification and cleansing – to name a few. To begin with, it’s a matter of losing each and every layer that you have thrust upon yourself – in order to fend against the world. Because there, beneath all your inhibitions, prejuidices, fears – lies your pure essence. You – unadulterated. You – organic, grown locally and hand-picked.
And that what you’re really made of – sans additives – is where your true wisdom lies.
This is no airy-fairy statement. My friend, it is how nature works. The closer you come to your true essence, the more access you will have to your inner wisdom. Let me remind you that that wisdom has taken at the very least 3.2 million years to evolve. It has been passed down to you, generation after generation since Lucy’s time – or maybe earlier.
And to think that this is effortless wisdom – you got the gift simply because you’re human. Your dog didn’t get it – and forget about your pet fish. Neither of them got the gift. You lucky person – you!
You can relax because you don’t need to stand in line to claim your gift. Rather it’s a matter of taking a few deliberate measures and actions in your daily life. Here are the main ones:
- Take risks – and as important, learn from the outcomes. Good or bad, everything leaves behind lessons for you to grow and learn. It’s those lessons that you put under your belt that will increase your SELFtrust.
- Tune in to your feelings – situations either feel right or they feel wrong to your body. Just as a kiss feels nice to your lips and hot water burns your skin, certain experiences feel right to your body – and others feels wrong. Some things make you feel excited, others make you feel like you have a rock in your shoe. Those feelings give you clues about your true essence. And once you learn to feel your true essence, you have the opportunity (and choice) to honor it. And that is one of the most powerful ways to build SELFtrust.
- Pick the pattern – if you pay close attention, you follow a unique modus operandi. Simply put, only you have your way of doing things. And your way follows a certain pattern – or lets call it a theme. Knowing what that is, gives you the choice to keep what’s working and to change what’s not. Having that choice builds SELFtrust. That said, do you know how and why you do things? In other words, do you know what drives your choices and what stops you from taking action? Start by asking yourself: What excites you? What are you drawn to? What scares you? Can you pick the common denominator(s) in your choices?
- Decide – yes, it’s crunch time. The most sustainable decisions, I’ve found, are the ones that I’ve made with both my head and my heart. Even so, you need to take a stance – and to trust that decisions are neither right or wrong. They simply yield desirable or undesirable outcomes.
At the end of the day, whether you win or lose, come out on top or below, every outcome is part of your experience. It makes part of your life’s story. Besides, the race is long – and it’s only against yourself.
Now go on – and trust yourself.
Not sure what to think of the picture? Me neither – but thank you.
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