Tag Archives: candor

Uniquely you (& me)

(Disclosure:  This post is not a feminist manifesto)

Recently I received an email from one of my readers who will remain anonymous – except I will let you know that it’s a male from a sleepy city (his words, not mine) close to Calcutta, in India.

On two occassions he has written to me mostly to comment on what he calls my ‘toughness’.  He insists – and I quote – “You write in a prose which can be best described as ‘tough’. Will you continue to write when you’ll become a lady?”

In a future email, when I ask him to identify himself, he responds: 

“And tenderness has its strength too. Perhaps it is stronger than whatever is ‘tough’. I thought the ladies know.”

I decided to use this exchange to make a few points loud and clear about my writing:

  1. What you read is me.  Nothing more, nothing less. My words and ideas emerge from my core – which I get in touch with every morning at 5am through mindfulness meditation – a technique taught to me by the Thai monk Phra Mana at Sunnataram Forest Monastery.   
  2. My uniqueness is my strength. So is yours.  Surrender to it. Go beyond self-judgment.  To become inwardly driven, focus your thoughts and energy on identifying your strengths and weaknesses. Play to your strengths. Manage your weaknesses.  Strategically partner with those with complementary strengths. Above all, live beyond labels (ie male/female).
  3. Live candidly. If you want to be able to trust people, first be trustworthy.  Begin by meaning what you say. Make sure that you do what you say that you will.  Above all, be yourself. 

So Mr. Gracious Reader, as I responded to you in an email:

“What you read on my blog is me shinnng through as I am – that is me – straight up.  Perhaps you can try to accept me – (and accept yourself) – just as I am (and just as you are)…Surrender to my nature (and yours) and take it all in.  It’s my uniqueness that is my strength…(and yours too).”

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